I held on to you for as long as I could

(A/N: This sucks. It takes place the night after Bethel and Mireille return to Jerry's life.)

He was leaning in the doorway behind her, watching her brush her hair with slow, meticulous movements. She was beautiful, more beautiful than he recalled, or than he had dreamed. It was so good to see her standing in his bedroom, looking for all the world like she belonged there. He pushed away from the door, and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her small body, nuzzling against her soft, red hair. Bethel laughed softly, laying the brush down on the dresser, and leaning back against Jerry. His arms were warm around her t-shirt clad body, and it felt so nice to have someone touch her in a sweet, intimate way. Even just by having his arms wrapped around her tightly.
“Is Mireille asleep?” She asked softly, tilting her head back against his shoulder.
“Mhmm. I was reading her a book- she was sound asleep by the time that I left her.” Jerry leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to her lips, before slowly spinning her in his arms.

Bethel slipped her arms around Jerry’s neck, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. Jerry returned her kiss, lifting her off of her feet, and settling her onto his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed, deepening their kiss. It had been so long since they had kissed, since they had touched. Bethel found herself melting into Jerry, remembering slowly how it felt to be loved. Jerry lowered her to the bed, leaning over her, and slowly slipping his shirt off. However, as his weight settled against her, Bethel panicked. Tears welled up in her eyes, and her breathing was ragged. Her hands pushed at his shoulders, and she begged him under her breath to not hurt her. Jerry quickly moved away from her, concern written across his features.
“Bethel…are you alright? Was I hurting you?” Her haunted hazel eyes watched him, and after a minute the panic faded from them.
“No…it wasn’t you.” She slid closer, and curled into his arms, lowering her head to his chest.

“What did Elliot tell you, Jerry?” His arms wrapped around her, stroking her hair slowly, not even caring about sex, or anything remotely like it. He was worried to death about Bethel, and wondering what had happened to her that could make her fear him so much.
“He didn’t tell me much of anything, just that you were coming home.” He lightly kissed the top of her head, wishing that she could just come out and tell him what was bothering her, tell him what had happened.
“My husband was….angry. All the time, and the only thing that could placate him was…” She couldn’t bring herself to continue.
“He hurt you.” It wasn’t really a question, and her silence was more than enough to answer that question for him.

“It’s alright, Jerry. I-I just wasn’t ready for this. We can try-“ He lightly kissed her lips, but then pulled away, shaking his head. He couldn’t do this to her, he couldn’t be anything like this man who had hurt her so badly. He just couldn’t do it. Jerry pulled away from her, standing and pacing the floor of his bedroom; he could feel himself shaking in anger, and he knew that seeing it would frighten the woman sitting on his bed. He took a deep breath, heading into the bathroom, placing his hands on either side of the sink and leaned against the counter. Someone had hurt her. Had laid his hands on her, and left marks of pain and shame. His hands clenched against the porcelain and tile beneath his hands, resisting the urge to throw something. Bethel had seen enough violence.

“Jerry? I’m sorry…I guess I should have told you…I’ll go join Miri on the couch.” Her cool hand landed briefly on his shoulder before drifting away. He turned, catching her with an arm around her waist before she could leave him. His free hand touched her face, trailing his fingers down her skin, across her lips. Then he pressed a kiss to her forehead, stroking her back through her t-shirt. “You don’t have to, Bethel. I am not a monster, and I’m not going to cast you out, because you’re not going to have sex with me. I love you. I am angry on your behalf, and I know you’ve seen too much anger. Go to bed- I’ll be there soon.” He smiled at her, sliding his arm from her waist as she nodded and turned back to the bedroom.

Jerry waited until he knew she was out of earshot; then he picked up a glass bottle and flung it to the ground, cursing the man with every foul word that he knew, both regretting and relieved that Bethel’s former husband lived in Spain. After he had calmed down, he cleaned up the mess; checked in on Mireille, and then joined Bethel. As she snuggled against him, and he wrapped his arms around her, Jerry reached a conclusion. No one would hurt her again- he didn’t know the details that he was sure he would learn in time. He hadn’t seen any of the scars yet…but he knew she had been hurt enough. He had a family now, and they had someone to look after them.