Oh, but be prepared to bleed.

The girl was back. According to Cori’s calculations, the girl had been in Anthony’s room four times in the past two weeks, and no other woman had been in there at all. As far as Cori was concerned, this was a bad sign. Cori always knew when the girl was in Anthony’s rooms. She could hear her brother’s voice, and nothing in response. The girl couldn’t talk without putting people to sleep, which Cori considered to be a good thing. If the girl could talk to her, and tried to, Cori would be tempted to do something that would only upset Anthony.

Normally when Anthony’s company bothered Cori, she could put on her headphones and go back to work with her experiments. Not when the girl was there. Nothing could drive the silence out of her head, but the silence drove Cori instead. Without a word, or putting anything away, or picking anything up, Cori left. Rain was drumming against the roof, and Cori wished that it could wash her mind clean from the hateful thoughts that swirled in the familiar emptiness. Tonight there was no relief.

There was only one place Cori could go in this dimension that hadn’t been ruined for her, that the girl couldn’t take away. Pushing out of a door and into the rain, Cori made her stumbling way to her greatest friend in the world. It was still quiet, but a silence filled with water, and movement, and cleanliness rather than the ugly hatred that was swamping her at every turn.

“Ezra.” Slowly Cori clambered onto the base of the forgotten statue that lurked in the shadows of the school. Fortunately, he was here, and she perched at the base of the statue, her head leaning against his leg- mindless of his undressed state. “I am a very screwed up individual.”

It wasn’t a plea for pity, but rather a cold fact. She sighed, rubbing her cheek against the wet metal, as though she were seeking comfort from the inanimate object. Which, she supposed, she was. “I’m broken, you know. It happened when Mom fell down the stairs. I could have reached her. Could have stepped down one step, and grabbed her hand. But when I stepped, I tripped the line. I stepped out of the dimension, and Mom died because of me. That lady laying in bed isn’t my Mom. The fall changed her.”

Cori dropped her arms, filled with disgust and shame. “On the inside, I’m still nine. I can’t seem to grow up, or even want to. I’m like stupid Peter Pan. I can’t do experiments- I don’t even know how! I only ever made it through physics. I can’t even read that well. My notes might as well be gibberish. I wish Anthony were still thirteen sometimes. I wish I could be nineteen.” With an irritated motion, she flung the lab coat she wore to the ground, shivering in the cold rain.

“I knew I couldn’t be a good student, or a normal adult. I just wanted to be a good sister, you know? I wanted Anthony to be proud of me, so I helped him with the girls. I made his little black book, and buy him stuff, and wash his sheets. I worried that he would get sick. I wanted him to find love. I never wanted him to have a reason to leave me.” Cori slid off of the statue, her dark blue eyes as watery as everything else that was outside.

“He loves the girl. I know he does, because until the girl showed up nobody knew Anthony better than me.” She sniffled, rubbing her arms. “He wants me to like her. He wants me to be happy. But I can’t, Ezra. Because for me to be happy, he can’t be. I’m only good at being a sister. That means he has to be happy, and so I have to leave.”

Cori reached up, her hand caressing her friend’s leg. “I bet you think you’ve been violated again. I only wanted to say goodbye, ‘cause I have to go home. I need to learn how to grow up. Anthony needs me to. Maybe someday, I can come back to see my nieces and nephews. Maybe by then I can love you like I want to. For now, though, I have to find a way to fix me. I can’t stay nine forever.”

Reaching into her back pocket, Cori produced a letter wrapped in plastic, Anthony’s name scrawled across the front. “Can you see that he gets this?”
Then she smiled, stepped back, and disappeared.

---------

Anthony,
I’m glad you found her. Really. I decided to go home, by the way. I needed you to be happy, and you needed me to grow up. I can’t do that around you. I love you, you know. I love you because you’re the greatest big brother in the world, and you didn’t mind that I was broken. Enjoy the girl. Love her, and treat her right. I know you can. Give Mom and Dad my love at Christmas. Sometime when you’re sleeping, I’ll drop by with my present for them.
My love always,
Agatha.
P.S. Give the girl my room. Just tell her to mind the Chemistry set. I can’t remember what I put in there last.