The girl was back. According to Cori’s calculations, the girl had been in Anthony’s room four times in the past two weeks, and no other woman had been in there at all. As far as Cori was concerned, this was a bad sign. Cori always knew when the girl was in Anthony’s rooms. She could hear her brother’s voice, and nothing in response. The girl couldn’t talk without putting people to sleep, which Cori considered to be a good thing. If the girl could talk to her, and tried to, Cori would be tempted to do something that would only upset Anthony.
Normally when Anthony’s company bothered Cori, she could put on her headphones and go back to work with her experiments. Not when the girl was there. Nothing could drive the silence out of her head, but the silence drove Cori instead. Without a word, or putting anything away, or picking anything up, Cori left. Rain was drumming against the roof, and Cori wished that it could wash her mind clean from the hateful thoughts that swirled in the familiar emptiness. Tonight there was no relief.
There was only one place Cori could go in this dimension that hadn’t been ruined for her, that the girl couldn’t take away. Pushing out of a door and into the rain, Cori made her stumbling way to her greatest friend in the world. It was still quiet, but a silence filled with water, and movement, and cleanliness rather than the ugly hatred that was swamping her at every turn.
“Ezra.” Slowly Cori clambered onto the base of the forgotten statue that lurked in the shadows of the school. Fortunately, he was here, and she perched at the base of the statue, her head leaning against his leg- mindless of his undressed state. “I am a very screwed up individual.”
It wasn’t a plea for pity, but rather a cold fact. She sighed, rubbing her cheek against the wet metal, as though she were seeking comfort from the inanimate object. Which, she supposed, she was. “I’m broken, you know. It happened when Mom fell down the stairs. I could have reached her. Could have stepped down one step, and grabbed her hand. But when I stepped, I tripped the line. I stepped out of the dimension, and Mom died because of me. That lady laying in bed isn’t my Mom. The fall changed her.”
Cori dropped her arms, filled with disgust and shame. “On the inside, I’m still nine. I can’t seem to grow up, or even want to. I’m like stupid Peter Pan. I can’t do experiments- I don’t even know how! I only ever made it through physics. I can’t even read that well. My notes might as well be gibberish. I wish Anthony were still thirteen sometimes. I wish I could be nineteen.” With an irritated motion, she flung the lab coat she wore to the ground, shivering in the cold rain.
“I knew I couldn’t be a good student, or a normal adult. I just wanted to be a good sister, you know? I wanted Anthony to be proud of me, so I helped him with the girls. I made his little black book, and buy him stuff, and wash his sheets. I worried that he would get sick. I wanted him to find love. I never wanted him to have a reason to leave me.” Cori slid off of the statue, her dark blue eyes as watery as everything else that was outside.
“He loves the girl. I know he does, because until the girl showed up nobody knew Anthony better than me.” She sniffled, rubbing her arms. “He wants me to like her. He wants me to be happy. But I can’t, Ezra. Because for me to be happy, he can’t be. I’m only good at being a sister. That means he has to be happy, and so I have to leave.”
Cori reached up, her hand caressing her friend’s leg. “I bet you think you’ve been violated again. I only wanted to say goodbye, ‘cause I have to go home. I need to learn how to grow up. Anthony needs me to. Maybe someday, I can come back to see my nieces and nephews. Maybe by then I can love you like I want to. For now, though, I have to find a way to fix me. I can’t stay nine forever.”
Reaching into her back pocket, Cori produced a letter wrapped in plastic, Anthony’s name scrawled across the front. “Can you see that he gets this?”
Then she smiled, stepped back, and disappeared.
---------
Anthony,
I’m glad you found her. Really. I decided to go home, by the way. I needed you to be happy, and you needed me to grow up. I can’t do that around you. I love you, you know. I love you because you’re the greatest big brother in the world, and you didn’t mind that I was broken. Enjoy the girl. Love her, and treat her right. I know you can. Give Mom and Dad my love at Christmas. Sometime when you’re sleeping, I’ll drop by with my present for them.
My love always,
Agatha.
P.S. Give the girl my room. Just tell her to mind the Chemistry set. I can’t remember what I put in there last.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Jellybean
The snow was falling thickly across the city, and though she knew in a few hours it would be brown and gross, Ainsley couldn’t help but feel that it was beautiful. Snuggling into her coat to brace herself from the cold, she strode across the seven city blocks that were between the apartment of her oldest brother, and the apartment she had just begun to rent. The pleasant walk and relatively short distance were the reasons that Ainsley’s parents had allowed the eighteen year old to move out of the family home. Naturally, Madeline had let her baby go with much weeping, and even Jonathan hadn’t denied the sadness that passed over his face. Still, Ainsley knew it was about time that her parents had the place to themselves, and she’d promised to see Christian at least twice a week, and to come home for Sunday dinner.
Tonight, she was walking to her brother’s for dinner. Ainsley had always been close to this brother, in spite of the nine-year age difference between them. The grocer’s bag filled with chocolate and marshmallows swung easily in hand, and her pace quickened as she neared the proper building. Christian was blessed with a small fireplace in his apartment, and Ainsley planned on roasting s’mores. She’d not inherited her brother’s gourmet cooking talent, and so she nearly always brought something simple when it was her turn to provide dessert. The doorman nodded at Ainsley with a smile, knowing that any greeting he passed to the quiet woman would be returned with only a smile in kind, anyway. Ainsley took the stairs, and raced up the three flights- thanks to track and field, she barely lost her breath, and Christian greeted her at the door to his apartment with a loose hug.
“How was your walk?”
“Pleasant.”
Christian took her bag while she removed her coat, and she could nearly feel his perceptive gaze lingering over her waistline. Ainsley raised her eyebrow, and her brother shrugged helpless, saying only the word ‘Mom’. Ainsley knew what he meant- their mother wanted to make certain that there was enough meat on little Ainsley’s bones. Ainsley rolled her eyes, hanging up her coat, and then following Christian into the kitchen, perching on the island stool. The kitchen was beautiful, and state-of-the-art. Cookbooks were occasionally scattered here and there, but Ainsley knew that her supper hadn’t come from any of them- Christian liked to try his new recipes on her. Unlike his twin, Ainsley wouldn’t cushion the truth from him, but neither would she rip the cooking to pieces.
It was only a matter of a few moments before Christian set two plates on the island, one in front of Ainsley, and one in front of himself. It was some sort of chicken, a lovely and bright coloured sauce, and a rice pilaf concoction. Christian watched as Ainsley lifted her fork and knife, holding it over the plate, before she paused and glanced at his face. Christian, well-used to the silent communication, laughed at her expression.
“I won’t tell you what’s in it, until you’ve tried it.” The girl cut some of the chicken, and took a bite. For a few minutes, there was only the sound of her thoughtful chewing.
“Don’t bother to tell me, Chris, just get me a glass of water.”
The faucet cut on over the sound of her brother’s laughter, and the meal continued with continued laughter and conversation- most of it surrounding Christian’s employees and staff at ‘Madelynn’s’ which was the restaurant Christian had named for their mother- and also, which Ainsley frequented. After the meal was finished, and the two siblings had playfully washed the dishes, they settled in Christians lounge, in front of the fireplace.
“So, tell me. How are things with Izzy and Reuben?” Ainsley asked, sticking a marshmallow on the end of the roasting stick. Christian chuckled, watching the methodical and smooth movements of his baby sister, amused at the fact that of all of the friends and family surrounding Reuben Hughes, only Ainsley didn’t refer to him by a nickname.
“They’re alright. Little Dawson was drawing pictures on your invitation to his birthday party next week. He says you promised to be there.”
“My nephew’s fourth birthday is hardly something I can miss.”
Christian chuckled, adding his own marshmallow to the fireplace, nudging his elbow against Ainsley. “Have you gotten a good look at Isobel’s waistline lately? I think she’s trying to hide it from us that she’s expecting again.”
“She’s hardly hiding anything.”
“You know for sure?”
“She promised me I could come up with the middle name.”
Christian’s face was surprised, and he blinked a few times. Often he shared things with Ainsley that he didn’t tell Isobel, but seldom did Isobel share her secrets with anyone other than him. After a long pause, Christian relaxed, smiling wryly as his marshmallow erupted into flame.
“Have any ideas?”
“I was going to tell her Christine or Christopher, but I’m saving that for my first kid, or yours.”
“You’ll have children before I do, Ains.”
Ainsley didn’t reply that remark, removing her marshmallow from the fireplace, gently placing the sweet treat on a bar of chocolate, and with great precision removed the marshmallow from the roasting stick by pushing on it with her graham cracker.
“Well, it’s true. You and Izzy are way ahead of me and Jakie-cakes.” The nickname given to their other sibling by Isobel sounded odd, from Christian. “I mean, you two have someone in your life. We men fail at getting the women.”
Ainsley snorted, and her older brother’s dark brown eyes raised to hers, and he chuckled.
“Uh-oh. Is there something that Jacob neglected to tell me?”
“Her name is Hannah Cooper.”
“Your best friend from before you went off to France and met S.S.?”
“She’s still my best friend, silly.”
“Mhmm.”
“She is. It’s just that Sarah is more of my best friend. Anyway, it’s not official. Hannah just knows she loves him.”
“That means Jake’s a goner. I know that Cooper family- Julie’s got stories about them.”
“She’s Hannah’s biological mother, after all.”
“True. So….I guess that just leaves me.”
Ainsley shuffled over to her brother, one arm sliding around him, and the other hand daintily held her rather sticky s’more. “It’s okay, Chris. I know you’re happy without a partner.”
“I wouldn’t turn it down, you know. I just haven’t found someone like that.”
“As long as you aren’t lonely, Chris, don’t let it get to you.”
“Mom wants grandkids, Ains. She harps on it all the time, especially ever since Dawson was born. She’d love more.”
“Which is why she has Isobel, who’s already on baby number two; not to mention Jake, because once he wakes up and realizes he loves Hannah too, they’ll start a family.”
“What about you?”
Ainsley arched her eyebrow, a clear look on her face that warned him not to go there. Christian knew that look, and he knew that he was exempt from the danger it indicated.
“Come on, Ainsley. You and Avery have been official for a year now. When does he intend to make an honest woman of you?”
“You’d have to ask him.”
“I plan on it.”
For once, Ainsley did not react as he was expecting. Rather than another pointed look, her face took on a hurt and surprised appearance, and rather than speaking to him sternly, when she spoke her voice was begging.
“Chris, please, don’t do that!”
His hand smoothed her hair, holding her close.
“I won’t, Jellybean. I won’t.”
Ainsley relaxed against her brother, popping the last of her s’more into her mouth.
“So, when can we expect you to add to the grandchild list?”
Ainsley scooped up a handful of marshmallows, and lobbed them at his face. Christian grinned, wrapping his arms tight around Ainsley, so that she couldn’t throw any more.
“Love you, Jellybean.”
“Love you too.”
Tonight, she was walking to her brother’s for dinner. Ainsley had always been close to this brother, in spite of the nine-year age difference between them. The grocer’s bag filled with chocolate and marshmallows swung easily in hand, and her pace quickened as she neared the proper building. Christian was blessed with a small fireplace in his apartment, and Ainsley planned on roasting s’mores. She’d not inherited her brother’s gourmet cooking talent, and so she nearly always brought something simple when it was her turn to provide dessert. The doorman nodded at Ainsley with a smile, knowing that any greeting he passed to the quiet woman would be returned with only a smile in kind, anyway. Ainsley took the stairs, and raced up the three flights- thanks to track and field, she barely lost her breath, and Christian greeted her at the door to his apartment with a loose hug.
“How was your walk?”
“Pleasant.”
Christian took her bag while she removed her coat, and she could nearly feel his perceptive gaze lingering over her waistline. Ainsley raised her eyebrow, and her brother shrugged helpless, saying only the word ‘Mom’. Ainsley knew what he meant- their mother wanted to make certain that there was enough meat on little Ainsley’s bones. Ainsley rolled her eyes, hanging up her coat, and then following Christian into the kitchen, perching on the island stool. The kitchen was beautiful, and state-of-the-art. Cookbooks were occasionally scattered here and there, but Ainsley knew that her supper hadn’t come from any of them- Christian liked to try his new recipes on her. Unlike his twin, Ainsley wouldn’t cushion the truth from him, but neither would she rip the cooking to pieces.
It was only a matter of a few moments before Christian set two plates on the island, one in front of Ainsley, and one in front of himself. It was some sort of chicken, a lovely and bright coloured sauce, and a rice pilaf concoction. Christian watched as Ainsley lifted her fork and knife, holding it over the plate, before she paused and glanced at his face. Christian, well-used to the silent communication, laughed at her expression.
“I won’t tell you what’s in it, until you’ve tried it.” The girl cut some of the chicken, and took a bite. For a few minutes, there was only the sound of her thoughtful chewing.
“Don’t bother to tell me, Chris, just get me a glass of water.”
The faucet cut on over the sound of her brother’s laughter, and the meal continued with continued laughter and conversation- most of it surrounding Christian’s employees and staff at ‘Madelynn’s’ which was the restaurant Christian had named for their mother- and also, which Ainsley frequented. After the meal was finished, and the two siblings had playfully washed the dishes, they settled in Christians lounge, in front of the fireplace.
“So, tell me. How are things with Izzy and Reuben?” Ainsley asked, sticking a marshmallow on the end of the roasting stick. Christian chuckled, watching the methodical and smooth movements of his baby sister, amused at the fact that of all of the friends and family surrounding Reuben Hughes, only Ainsley didn’t refer to him by a nickname.
“They’re alright. Little Dawson was drawing pictures on your invitation to his birthday party next week. He says you promised to be there.”
“My nephew’s fourth birthday is hardly something I can miss.”
Christian chuckled, adding his own marshmallow to the fireplace, nudging his elbow against Ainsley. “Have you gotten a good look at Isobel’s waistline lately? I think she’s trying to hide it from us that she’s expecting again.”
“She’s hardly hiding anything.”
“You know for sure?”
“She promised me I could come up with the middle name.”
Christian’s face was surprised, and he blinked a few times. Often he shared things with Ainsley that he didn’t tell Isobel, but seldom did Isobel share her secrets with anyone other than him. After a long pause, Christian relaxed, smiling wryly as his marshmallow erupted into flame.
“Have any ideas?”
“I was going to tell her Christine or Christopher, but I’m saving that for my first kid, or yours.”
“You’ll have children before I do, Ains.”
Ainsley didn’t reply that remark, removing her marshmallow from the fireplace, gently placing the sweet treat on a bar of chocolate, and with great precision removed the marshmallow from the roasting stick by pushing on it with her graham cracker.
“Well, it’s true. You and Izzy are way ahead of me and Jakie-cakes.” The nickname given to their other sibling by Isobel sounded odd, from Christian. “I mean, you two have someone in your life. We men fail at getting the women.”
Ainsley snorted, and her older brother’s dark brown eyes raised to hers, and he chuckled.
“Uh-oh. Is there something that Jacob neglected to tell me?”
“Her name is Hannah Cooper.”
“Your best friend from before you went off to France and met S.S.?”
“She’s still my best friend, silly.”
“Mhmm.”
“She is. It’s just that Sarah is more of my best friend. Anyway, it’s not official. Hannah just knows she loves him.”
“That means Jake’s a goner. I know that Cooper family- Julie’s got stories about them.”
“She’s Hannah’s biological mother, after all.”
“True. So….I guess that just leaves me.”
Ainsley shuffled over to her brother, one arm sliding around him, and the other hand daintily held her rather sticky s’more. “It’s okay, Chris. I know you’re happy without a partner.”
“I wouldn’t turn it down, you know. I just haven’t found someone like that.”
“As long as you aren’t lonely, Chris, don’t let it get to you.”
“Mom wants grandkids, Ains. She harps on it all the time, especially ever since Dawson was born. She’d love more.”
“Which is why she has Isobel, who’s already on baby number two; not to mention Jake, because once he wakes up and realizes he loves Hannah too, they’ll start a family.”
“What about you?”
Ainsley arched her eyebrow, a clear look on her face that warned him not to go there. Christian knew that look, and he knew that he was exempt from the danger it indicated.
“Come on, Ainsley. You and Avery have been official for a year now. When does he intend to make an honest woman of you?”
“You’d have to ask him.”
“I plan on it.”
For once, Ainsley did not react as he was expecting. Rather than another pointed look, her face took on a hurt and surprised appearance, and rather than speaking to him sternly, when she spoke her voice was begging.
“Chris, please, don’t do that!”
His hand smoothed her hair, holding her close.
“I won’t, Jellybean. I won’t.”
Ainsley relaxed against her brother, popping the last of her s’more into her mouth.
“So, when can we expect you to add to the grandchild list?”
Ainsley scooped up a handful of marshmallows, and lobbed them at his face. Christian grinned, wrapping his arms tight around Ainsley, so that she couldn’t throw any more.
“Love you, Jellybean.”
“Love you too.”
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