I held on to you for as long as I could

(A/N: This sucks. It takes place the night after Bethel and Mireille return to Jerry's life.)

He was leaning in the doorway behind her, watching her brush her hair with slow, meticulous movements. She was beautiful, more beautiful than he recalled, or than he had dreamed. It was so good to see her standing in his bedroom, looking for all the world like she belonged there. He pushed away from the door, and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her small body, nuzzling against her soft, red hair. Bethel laughed softly, laying the brush down on the dresser, and leaning back against Jerry. His arms were warm around her t-shirt clad body, and it felt so nice to have someone touch her in a sweet, intimate way. Even just by having his arms wrapped around her tightly.
“Is Mireille asleep?” She asked softly, tilting her head back against his shoulder.
“Mhmm. I was reading her a book- she was sound asleep by the time that I left her.” Jerry leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to her lips, before slowly spinning her in his arms.

Bethel slipped her arms around Jerry’s neck, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. Jerry returned her kiss, lifting her off of her feet, and settling her onto his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed, deepening their kiss. It had been so long since they had kissed, since they had touched. Bethel found herself melting into Jerry, remembering slowly how it felt to be loved. Jerry lowered her to the bed, leaning over her, and slowly slipping his shirt off. However, as his weight settled against her, Bethel panicked. Tears welled up in her eyes, and her breathing was ragged. Her hands pushed at his shoulders, and she begged him under her breath to not hurt her. Jerry quickly moved away from her, concern written across his features.
“Bethel…are you alright? Was I hurting you?” Her haunted hazel eyes watched him, and after a minute the panic faded from them.
“No…it wasn’t you.” She slid closer, and curled into his arms, lowering her head to his chest.

“What did Elliot tell you, Jerry?” His arms wrapped around her, stroking her hair slowly, not even caring about sex, or anything remotely like it. He was worried to death about Bethel, and wondering what had happened to her that could make her fear him so much.
“He didn’t tell me much of anything, just that you were coming home.” He lightly kissed the top of her head, wishing that she could just come out and tell him what was bothering her, tell him what had happened.
“My husband was….angry. All the time, and the only thing that could placate him was…” She couldn’t bring herself to continue.
“He hurt you.” It wasn’t really a question, and her silence was more than enough to answer that question for him.

“It’s alright, Jerry. I-I just wasn’t ready for this. We can try-“ He lightly kissed her lips, but then pulled away, shaking his head. He couldn’t do this to her, he couldn’t be anything like this man who had hurt her so badly. He just couldn’t do it. Jerry pulled away from her, standing and pacing the floor of his bedroom; he could feel himself shaking in anger, and he knew that seeing it would frighten the woman sitting on his bed. He took a deep breath, heading into the bathroom, placing his hands on either side of the sink and leaned against the counter. Someone had hurt her. Had laid his hands on her, and left marks of pain and shame. His hands clenched against the porcelain and tile beneath his hands, resisting the urge to throw something. Bethel had seen enough violence.

“Jerry? I’m sorry…I guess I should have told you…I’ll go join Miri on the couch.” Her cool hand landed briefly on his shoulder before drifting away. He turned, catching her with an arm around her waist before she could leave him. His free hand touched her face, trailing his fingers down her skin, across her lips. Then he pressed a kiss to her forehead, stroking her back through her t-shirt. “You don’t have to, Bethel. I am not a monster, and I’m not going to cast you out, because you’re not going to have sex with me. I love you. I am angry on your behalf, and I know you’ve seen too much anger. Go to bed- I’ll be there soon.” He smiled at her, sliding his arm from her waist as she nodded and turned back to the bedroom.

Jerry waited until he knew she was out of earshot; then he picked up a glass bottle and flung it to the ground, cursing the man with every foul word that he knew, both regretting and relieved that Bethel’s former husband lived in Spain. After he had calmed down, he cleaned up the mess; checked in on Mireille, and then joined Bethel. As she snuggled against him, and he wrapped his arms around her, Jerry reached a conclusion. No one would hurt her again- he didn’t know the details that he was sure he would learn in time. He hadn’t seen any of the scars yet…but he knew she had been hurt enough. He had a family now, and they had someone to look after them.

The first time you yelled at me

She frowned in the mirror, laying her hand against her belly, wishing that she hadn’t chosen this exact day to have her monthly cycle begin. She was heading out to a [i]party[/i] soon, and it was no fun to feel cramped and bloating when she was trying to party, and to enjoy herself. Skipping out wasn’t an option, of course, because she was hoping to see Roo at this party, since it was all older students. Vivianna and Danica were going to be there too, and Isobel was looking forward to the fun. Sure, there was likely to be alcohol, but it was unlikely that any of these people Isobel had known her whole life would be letting her drink, or if they did, they would keep a close eye on her. No, the main issue for Isobel lay in whether or not she looked good enough to attract the attention of her sort-of boyfriend, Reuben Hughes.

Her dress was pretty, a short pale-blue strappy dress, flowery and cute. It had been a gift from Tetsu a few weeks ago, simply because he had seen it, and thought that it would look beautiful on her, so he had picked it up. Isobel hadn’t worn it yet, but she figure that now was the perfect time to try it out, during a sweet little fun party among friends. She picked up her brush, running it through her hair, and finding a smile to practice in the mirror. She was supposed to meet Danica Hughes in about an hour to head out to the party. It seemed as though her day would be alright, and she smiled once more to her reflection. And then she heard something that pierced her smile and caused it to fall quickly.
“ISOBEL MARIE HEARST!!!”

Immediately, she scowled, and turned away from her mirror to move to the hallway, looking over the railing to the first floor, where her mother was rising from the floor with the help of Izzy’s younger sister Ainsley. Izzy’s shoes lay to either side of her mother, and she feel her ire rising already.
“What is it, Mom?”
“Your shoes. I [i]told[/i] you to pick these up over an hour ago! People are going to [i]fall[/i] over them, like I just did. Now get down here and pick these up. Right. Now.”
Isobel rolled her eyes, not in the mood for this just now, and she stamped down the stairs, crossed to her mother with a flourish, and swept the two shoes up.
“[i]Happy[/i], now?”
“What on earth are you wearing?”
“Um…a [i]dress[/i] what else would it be?”

“That thing is too short. Go change it right now.” Isobel raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes, giving a brief shake of her head.
“No. T-chan gave it to me, and I will wear it if I want to.” Her mother shook her head, and crossed her own arms.
“Go take it off, you are not leaving my house dressed like that.”
“No! I am going to a party, and I want to wear this dress!” The two women stood glaring at each other, both of them quite red in the face. Though they wouldn’t listen to it now, they were acting and looking so much alike, it was comical, at least Ainsley thought it was.

Alerted by the shouting, Jake had slipped into the front room of the house, and taken Ainsley’s hand, trying to tug the younger girl along so that they could leave the room. Jake knew both his mother and his sister, and he knew that it would be getting ugly rather soon. Ainsley herself seem more intrigued in the argument than was healthy, and eventually Jake just picked her up, and with a little squeak from her, carried her to the backyard and safety. Meanwhile, things were getting worse between Madeline and her oldest daughter.
“A party? Is that what I just heard you say?”
“Yes, a party!” Isobel snapped at her mother, tossing her head rebelliously. “I am going with Dani Hughes. I’m supposed to be meeting her anytime now.”
“Not tonight you aren’t.”
“What?!”

Maddie propped her hands on her still-slender hips, a sure sign of trouble. Isobel’s enraged exclamation drew Christian from his room, perplexed by all the sounds of shouting and anger. He paused on the steps, brown eyes flickering back and forth between his twin and his mother. He heard steps on the stairs behind him, and glanced over his shoulder at his step-father, who looked equally perplexed.
“Mom, that is not even fair! Why can’t I go?”
“Because you’re failing Gym!”
“SO?!”
“Isobel, your best friend’s mother is your teacher. It’s an easy class, you have absolutely no reason to fail it! And until you start passing, you are [i]grounded[/i]”
“Itsuki is failing too, for the record!” Isobel pointed out hotly, livid that her mother would bring up such a narrow-minded view as grounding.“Yes, he is, and Maire is dealing with that too. Itsuki isn’t going out either.”
“That’s not fair! Mom, Roo’s going to be there!”
Madeline only looked sternly at her daughter. From the stairs, Christian and Jon could practically feel the air charge with anger, and fearing escalation, they both moved at once, rushing to the women, who were so angry that it was a miracle that they had not burst into flames on the spot.

Jonathan got there first, settling his hands on his wife’s shoulders, leaning his mouth close to her ear.
“Mads, calm down. Let her go tonight, and we can all discuss this tomorrow. It’s not fair to spring grounding on her so suddenly…”
Christian, still torn between his mother and sister, joined Isobel, rubbing her shoulders soothingly.
“Relax. If you talk nice, you know Jon will talk Mom into letting you go. Yelling is just making her more mad.”

Slowly, and under her twin’s soothing ministrations, Isobel began to relax, seeing his point. Yelling only made Maddie more angry, and Izzy really didn’t want to do that. She nodded to Christian, who released her shoulders.“I’m sorry, Mom- I just really want to go. I promise I’ll do better in gym…please?”
Madeline considered Isobel, and took a deep breath, nodding to her husband.
“You can go…if you change clothes. That dress really is too short.”
“B-but T-chan bought it for me!”
“Well, either he didn’t realize how short it would be on you, or we’re going to have to have a long talk. Now, go change, and I’ll give you a ride to meet Dani so you won’t be late.”
“I AM NOT CHANGING!”
“Young lady, don’t you [i]dare[/i] take that tone of voice with me!”

Isobel moved then, faster than Christian was predicting. Madeline, however, saw the move coming, and as Isobel began to move away and towards the door, Madeline grabbed her daughter’s wrist to pull her back towards her. Furious, Isobel turned on her mother, and raised her fist. This precipitated two responses: Jonathan, who pulled Madeline towards himself and away from her suddenly violent daughter; and Christian, who pulled Isobel into his arms, holding her close.
“LET ME GO! CHRISTIAN, PLEASE!”

Christian kissed his sister’s hair, whispering into her ear to try and calm her, though it didn’t seem to be working, as she just struggled against him, clearly angry and upset. He looked at his mother, who was wrapped in Jon’s arms. All of her anger seemed to have evaporated in the instant that her daughter took a swing at her, and Chris ached for her, just as he felt Izzy’s sorrow at her own temper and actions buried under her anger.
“Let her go, Chris.” Madeline eventually whispered, sounding tired and weary. Christian let his arms fall, and watched as his sister stalked out of the house.

Madeline turned into her husband’s chest, letting him stroke her hair, and comfort her. As she did, Jon raised an eyebrow at Christian, who smiled faintly, and took off to follow Isobel. He’d give her space, once he knew exactly where she was going to be, and that it was safe. It was all he would ask, and he knew that for his mother it would be enough.

Some hours later, Christian let himself back into the house, pausing to talk to his mother and Jon, who were seated on the couch.
“Where is she, Chris?”
His mother’s voice was hoarse, he assumed from crying more than from shouting earlier. He smiled for her, giving her a kiss to the forehead.
“Maire’s. She and Itsuki went to the party, and then back to his house. She says she’s staying the night there, and she might go to Dad’s in the morning.”
Maddie nodded, lowering her eyes, and leaning her head against Jon.
“Thank you, Christian.”

He nodded to his mother, and walked up the stairs to his bedroom. He was still torn between his mother and his sister, and the stress was very hard on him. He just wanted to sleep, and forget about it all. He’d just collapsed on his bed, when his door pushed slowly open. A small silhouette stood in the doorway, and Christian slowly smiled as he recognized who had interrupted his sleep.
“Come on in, Jellybean.”
Ainsley shut the door behind her, and picked her way carefully to her brother’s bed, curling up beside him.
“I’m sorry, Christian.”
The boy blinked, surprised that she had spoken first- or at all.
“What for, you didn’t do anything.”
“I’m sorry that you’re sad.” Christian smiled again, kissing the pale forehead.
“Thank you, Jellybean. I think I needed to hear that.